the grim reeper
A2OC Donor
Haha some very funny ones in here haha
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
but she did.
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction.
An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks have you ever been bedridden?
She says yes I have and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too.
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse!
Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect?
You’re in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said i would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
Hi mate i don't want you to panic but I’m texting you from the casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what i thought it was.
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl.
I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...
but she did.
The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite?
All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.
I said "You're pulling my leg"
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!
At least I presume she was poor - she only had £1.20 in her purse.
My girlfriend thinks that I’m a stalker. Well, she’s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
One’s a superhero and the other is an instruction.
An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks have you ever been bedridden?
She says yes I have and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too.
Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my arse!
Do you think I should change dentists?
A wife says to her husband you’re always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect?
You’re in a wheel chair.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.
She said i would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
Hi mate i don't want you to panic but I’m texting you from the casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what i thought it was.
