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runboy
24-03-2003, 12:39 PM
A horse walks into a pub...the barman asks "why the long face?"....

A cheese sandwich walks into a pub...the barman says "sorry, we don't serve food"....

Steve - 2002 1.4SE petrol, Silver, black/black interior, Then an identical replacement 2003 A2. Now a Toyota Corolla 1.6 T-Spirit
Stuart_D
24-03-2003, 12:47 PM
A man walks into a bar...ouch!

2001 TDi SE | Cobalt Blue Metallic | Open Sky Roof | Kenwood Mask CD | Front Centre Armrest
www.Audi-A2.co.uk | www.A2Forum.net
Ade
24-03-2003, 01:06 PM
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Damn

Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 | OpenSky | Azure Blue | Climate | DIS | APS | Lumbar | Rear Drinks Holder | Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm | http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
runboy
24-03-2003, 11:42 PM
Ade

Where do you get them from-and what do you do all day-got any jobs going at your place!!!!

Steve - 2002 1.4SE petrol, Silver, black/black interior, Then an identical replacement 2003 A2. Now a Toyota Corolla 1.6 T-Spirit
Ade
25-03-2003, 08:56 AM
Jobs going is ironic, yes jobs are probably going to be 're-aligned' and synergies found in the near future, jobs available no, but jobs going yes.

I have a vast e-mail archive of jokes over the years :)

Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 | OpenSky | Azure Blue | Climate | DIS | APS | Lumbar | Rear Drinks Holder | Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm | http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
runboy
25-03-2003, 01:01 PM
A bit like my place then-usually jobs going up north to York. Nice place but I couldn't live there. Like sleepy Norfolk too much.

I get the email stuff round but usually delete it-now I have somewhere to put them.

Steve - 2002 1.4SE petrol, Silver, black/black interior, Then an identical replacement 2003 A2. Now a Toyota Corolla 1.6 T-Spirit
Ade
29-03-2003, 08:33 PM
A white horse walked into a bar. The barman saw him and said
"We have a whiskey named after you!"
The horse looked puzzled and said,
"What, Eric?"

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/Ade_a2.gif[/img=left]Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 [img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif OpenSky http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Azure Blue http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Climate http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif DIS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif APS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Lumbar http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Rear Drinks Holder http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
Ade
29-03-2003, 08:47 PM
A polar bear walked into a bar and said
"Can I please have a gin and............................................ton ic?"
The barman replied "Sure, but why the large pause?"
"I don't know, I've always had them!"

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/Ade_a2.gif[/img=left]Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 [img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif OpenSky http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Azure Blue http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Climate http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif DIS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif APS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Lumbar http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Rear Drinks Holder http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
Ade
01-04-2003, 08:50 PM
One eye said to the other: "between you and me, there's something that smells"

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/Ade_a2.gif[/img=left]Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 [img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif OpenSky http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Azure Blue http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Climate http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif DIS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif APS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Lumbar http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Rear Drinks Holder http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
Ade
04-04-2003, 08:58 PM
This was allegedly unveiled by scientists as "The Funniest Joke in the World":

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"


http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/Ade_a2.gif[/img=left]Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 [img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif OpenSky http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Azure Blue http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Climate http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif DIS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif APS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Lumbar http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Rear Drinks Holder http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
Ade
04-04-2003, 08:59 PM
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.


http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/Ade_a2.gif[/img=left]Audi A2 1.4SE (2003)
Build Wk40/2002 [img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif OpenSky http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Azure Blue http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Climate http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif DIS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif APS http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Lumbar http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Rear Drinks Holder http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Floppy Wiper!
http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/
Ade
18-04-2003, 08:41 PM
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued.

"May I ask what the chicken did."


http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/a2ade.gif[/img=left]Ade [img]http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/res/spacer.gifhttp://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/res/spacer.gifhttp://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/res/icon_profile.gifUK Owners Page 24 (http://www.audi-a2.co.uk/uk24.htm) http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/res/home.gifMy Home Page (http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/) http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/res/icon_email.gifMail me (mailto:magis.moose@ntlworld.com)

Audi A2 1.4SE (2003): Azure Blue http://homepage.ntlworld.com/adriancharles/images/s.gif Build Wk40/2002
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