Recent posts about money saving

The recent post about money saving tips prompted my "joke trigger" but rather than clog that post with bad attempts at humour I will
post my "responses" on here.

One of my best money saving tips involved my dear wife (dear in both senses of the word!!)

She had her credit card stolen 6 weeks ago.

I have not yet reported it to the police.

Because the thief is spending less than she normally does !!


In reality (which is never funny) it is me that is the money waster, not her, but the joke doesn't work that way!!!

Steve B

I predict (hope?) this will go the way of Viz top tips.

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.


DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught.

Ian here ...

Save money on an expensive address book. Take a telephone directory and simply cross out the names of people you don't know

I'm Scottish so in stereotypical humour I should be good at this

1. Save money on food shopping by sending the kids on play dates to their friends houses at meal times.

2. Save money on your phone bills by ringing people and hanging up. Most folk will call you back.

3. Save money on floor coverings by attaching squares of quality carpet to your shoes and slippers. Your feet will never know the difference.

4. Save money on heating bills by training your pet cat to drape itself round your neck. Free central heating!

5. Save money on fuel by always driving in the draught of articulated lorries on the motorway ( oops don't our A2 hypermilers do that anyway! )

Good to see oeople joining in with the fun.
Some little gems there

Steve B

murdo said:

I'm Scottish so in stereotypical humour I should be good at this..

Click to expand...

Is it true that copper wire was invented by 2 Scotsman fighting over a penny?

*bad-dum tish!*

Dal said:

Is it true that copper wire was invented by 2 Scotsman fighting over a penny?

*bad-dum tish!*

Click to expand...

Just about as true as the reason that the 50p coin is shaped that way, so you can use a spanner to get them out of a Scots' hand?

But are we in danger of being accused of being racist (kiltish?)
Or did Murdo open the door as it where, with his comments?

Steve B

Birchall said:

Just about as true as the reason that the 50p coin is shaped that way, so you can use a spanner to get them out of a Scots' hand?

But are we in danger of being accused of being racist (kiltish?)
Or did Murdo open the door as it where, with his comments?

Steve B

Click to expand...

Steve may I ask what type of spanner is used? As they have 7 edges? Did you know that a 20p coin also has 7 edges but if you measure at two points diametrically opposite the readings will be the same at any point. Cheers Mike

a2sumo said:

Steve may I ask what type of spanner is used? As they have 7 edges? Did you know that a 20p coin also has 7 edges but if you measure at two points diametrically opposite the readings will be the same at any point. Cheers Mike

Click to expand...

Hi Mike
Thank you for that "measured" response.
I favour a "ring" spanner (due to the hand being involved)
or perhaps a "second-HAND" spanner might suit?
Sorry to PALM you off with these.
I hope you GRASP my meaning?

Steve B
(who else would it be that has such a dreadful sense of humour)