Jokes for scientists

dan_b

dan_b

A2OC Donor
For the biochemists out there, here's a little joke.

A biochemist walks into a bar.
He says to the barman "A pint of adenosine triphosphate, please"
"Certainly", came the reply... "that'll be 80p"

Or this:
A bioinformatician walks into a bar.
The barman asks, “GATCGCATCAATAAA?”
The bioinformatician replies, “I’m going to need a translation.”

And for particle physicists:
A barman says "We don't serve tachyons here."
A tachyon walks into a bar.

For materials scientists:
A superconductor walks into a bar.
The barman says “we don’t serve superconductors here.”
The superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.
 
A project manager, a hardware engineer, and a computer programmer were in a car. Coming down a hill, a tyre got a puncture, the car went out of control, and a bad crash was only narrowly averted.

The project manager wanted everyone to help draw up a plan of how to fix the car and carry on.
The hardware engineer wanted to change the tyre and carry on.
The programmer wanted to go back to the top of the hill, drive down again, and see if the problem happened again.
 
actually the first post, the Tachyon joke can't be particle physics, it is a Trekkie joke. I'm not saying I am...
 
Did you hear about the chemist who fell into the esterification vat?

They managed to save his life but he was left terribly butylated.
 
dan_b said:
...
The programmer wanted to go back to the top of the hill, drive down again, and see if the problem happened again.
Click to expand...

Speaking as a programmer, that seems perfectly reasonable to me. I'd also want to be trying variations on the downhill trip... (hand positions, pedal positions, exactly how were the passengers sitting at the time. We need to get the replication instructions precisely right).



<grins> Good one.
 
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no, in the case of a production issue, the programmer usually calls the support guy to fix it first. We don't monkey around with untested fixes in prod! [I'll get my programmer coat]
 
A traffic policeman is following a car driven by Heisenberg at distance and tells his partner:
"Damn, he's fast, he's going at 205.2 mph".
The partner says: "Let's take him".
The first cop replies: "Impossible, I lost him in a cloud of uncertainty"
 
dan_b said:
A traffic policeman is following a car driven by Heisenberg at distance and tells his partner:
"Damn, he's fast, he's going at 205.2 mph".
The partner says: "Let's take him".
The first cop replies: "Impossible, I lost him in a cloud of uncertainty"
Click to expand...

If his speed is known with such a degree of precision, then his location would obviously be a complete mystery. :p
 
Two atoms walking down the street.
One exclaims, "blimey, I've just lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the second.
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
 
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